1 am thoughts

i think i have such a hard time letting things go... because i'm much of an idealist. i create such high standards for myself and the people/world around me. things that are just obvious to me are not even within the radar of other people. it makes me look foolish and begins to take away from the perfect world i created. perhaps i am finally meeting reality and that things just are, and i have to just let things go. is that such a bad thing? "you have to grow up some day" is what they say. or am i just surrounded by people/things who are too different from me. am i the crazy one? or is the world crazy? i always thought the world was crazy but looking at myself now, i'm not too far from crazy. it's because i fight for what i believe in, work hard for what i want to achieve, and love without borders. maybe i am crazy and people like me don't belong in this world.

on the other side of the coin, i really have to question what constitutes the morals, rights/wrongs of my idealistic world. is this just my perfect world that i expect other people to understand? perhaps i am just an encrypted book. how can i expect someone who didn't see me grow up to know and truly understand the contents of my mind?

the reality is that friendship isn't hard. being true isn't that hard. but dealing with someone every day in a relationship is challenging because unless you grew up in the same household, neighborhood, or high school, there is bound to be so many differences. so many points for arguments. and two people are just going to stand there tugging at a war that was pretty silly to begin with. it's better to have an open mind. it's better to keep your heart open. it's ok to be hurt here and there. if you stand for what you believe in and love without borders, you're going to have to take risks, and let the petty things go. you also have to always put yourself in other people's shoes. life isn't just a sailboat going from point a to point b, and then c and d. it's full of colors, expressions, passions, pain, misery that makes you the most beautiful things God created- human.

and the last thing i have to say... if you're not cherishing your life and celebrating your life each day, then you're not living. yea there's things you have to get done everyday but it's the choice you made to have those things in there, because at some point you thought it would enrich your life somehow. life is hard work, whatever decision you make. but nothing of value comes with ease. work hard, be true, be loyal, stand up for what you believe in, and love without borders. love life. love each day.