freedom

freedom to me is not just about having the time to do what you want, escaping to a remote island, or dissociating yourself from the pollutions of society. 

freedom is the morning dew in the morning, 

right before the sun comes up, 

the refreshed feeling of a new day, 

a new start to create the palette of colors you want to paint your day with. 

freedom is independence of mind, body, and thought 

from the mainstream of society, 

and to follow your own path. 

freedom is to know your point of view, 

and keep it strong until your grave. 

no one can take that away.

freedom is to have the ability to be one of the crowd and to be solitude, 

all at the same time. 

to be fused and unfused, 

to be fully integrated without losing yourself. 

freedom is expertise in what you love and being a mastermind at it,

living and breathing who you are 

and carrying your points of views,

until you transform it into art; a masterpiece.

currently, i am still in training. i know my point of view, but my craftsmanship is far from where it needs to be before i can completely be complacent. whatever it ends up being, i still live for this dream, and to transcend my passion and point of view into art.

New era

New perspectives

Being a student all my life felt like forever, especially towards the end of medical school. Starting residency has brought a change in my life. Spending 11 hours a day on average, 6 days a week in the hospital, has really made me reconsider the way I view life. The luxuries I had before- personal time- is just not there anymore. The time for reflection, analysis of almost everything in life just doesn't exist anymore. It's more about waking up, filling myself up with as much taylor ham and whole wheat toast I can gobble down my throat, filling my cup with keurig coffee, and off to work. My whole day revolves around patients and everything I'm going to do from them the second they come into the door and out. Soon before I know it, it's late afternoon and time to take off for home.

Home- a nice place for quiet and peace. I always underestimated how wonderful it is to live in a beautiful, safe, and quiet place. It used to be more about being and living in the middle of everything, filling life with excitement from left to right. As wonderful as those things were, it's nice to come home to solitude. It used to be about exploring, now it's more about survival and comfort. And what happens at night? Loads of sleep, chilling with my sister Karen, and lots of dinner dates with girlfriends and shoving cake down my throat.

In short, I love it just as much as the adventurous, idealistic and Romantic life I lived before. Yes, I do feel shoved into the harshness of reality, but I do feel like I am learning a lot and it's incredibly exciting to be in medicine. I've become somewhat even more isolated than I already have, but I don't feel that my friends and family are any further than they were when I was a fourth year medical student. Those who love you and whom you love will find you somehow, whether it's through simple gestures like text, email, or really going out of your way to see them in person. Less time also means less garbage, as in my case. I could say things get frustrating, but I can never complain how fortunate or lucky I am to be where I am, doing what I do, and being surrounded by the most incredible people.