Sunday, January 18, 2009

prisoner of my own mind

never was i the girl who didn't know she was doing. i was always two steps ahead, so i knew for sure i would never fall behind. until i finally got everything i wanted, i realized that maybe it wasn't everything i thought it would be. i convinced myself, "this is everything, everything i ever wanted." but the more i told myself, the more i noticed i was only lying to myself. i tried to keep it together, keep it going, and make my life the fairy tale it was supposed to be.

i thought this was what i wanted... but this is not what i want anymore.

question marks encircle me in a small square-box room, where i can't breathe, where i feel trapped. i have become the prisoner of my own mind, and the only person holding me back from leaving is myself.

i am afraid of what i don't know. of what life would be without everything i have right now, everything i've achieved and worked so hard for. but at the same time, a part of me knows it's not right anymore.

"Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is going to drown"