Sunday, January 18, 2009

prisoner of my own mind

never was i the girl who didn't know she was doing. i was always two steps ahead, so i knew for sure i would never fall behind. until i finally got everything i wanted, i realized that maybe it wasn't everything i thought it would be. i convinced myself, "this is everything, everything i ever wanted." but the more i told myself, the more i noticed i was only lying to myself. i tried to keep it together, keep it going, and make my life the fairy tale it was supposed to be.

i thought this was what i wanted... but this is not what i want anymore.

question marks encircle me in a small square-box room, where i can't breathe, where i feel trapped. i have become the prisoner of my own mind, and the only person holding me back from leaving is myself.

i am afraid of what i don't know. of what life would be without everything i have right now, everything i've achieved and worked so hard for. but at the same time, a part of me knows it's not right anymore.

"Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is going to drown"


  1. at the end of the day
    we see how unfulfilling it is, to get what we want

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