"there and back again"

every person's dream:

(x) to travel the world

(x) to be a rebel

(x) to date the "cute" guy from your class

(x) to be well-liked & be cool (somewhat)

(x) to go to all those fancy parties

so what does it mean to say, been there, done that? why is there a marvel of the "unknown." so you hear very often there's no point in leaving your sense of home and comfort. you're just going to find yourself and realize you like what you started with to begin with. the prodigal son. what does it mean to lose yourself, the ones who are actually important around you, the things of value and make you who you are?

been there, done that. the dust of the "arts," the marvels of seeing "the world," "art's for art's sake." could i care less? or has it just become a part of me, and always be a part of who i am. i remember the fighting, the wanting to get out, the regret. the desperation. the hopelessness. wanting to die, wanting to live, and not being anything.

to live life at the edge... or to really let yourself go. that is living. i live life without regrets. i always go with a small backpack. i let few know/understand me, because i know i will never stay. the same friends and family who love you always will, and so will you.

all i am saying is i'm a bit sick of traveling and i'm ready to come home. a home that is a bit foreign to me now. after all the alienation, destruction that happened right under my nose. i am home, scarlette o'hara. i am home. there and back again, bilbo baggins. the bird that suddenly remembered where to fly to return back to it's mother's nest. i am home, and ready to continue my journey of life with my small backpack.